I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
