Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
