ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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