dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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