i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
