If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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