..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
wanna go halves on a baby?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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