my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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