i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
