Swine flu. Run for my life!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
