He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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