That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
