1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize