I want to have your abortion
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
ok first of all what the fuck
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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