I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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