I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
