You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
