think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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