Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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