so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
