You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize