I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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