What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize