my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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