So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
