porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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