A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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