Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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