Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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