i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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