It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
