i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
