i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
