At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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