We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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