yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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