im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
