i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
