is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
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