I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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