He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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