AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
So many bounce houses so little time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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