No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
