that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
