I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
