So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize