He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
