and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
