So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
