In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
