in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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