I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.