I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
