even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company