Texts From Last Night

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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.

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  (724): And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after. http://tfl.nu/p612
  Replies (38) Good night (5987) Bad night (930)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure

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  (814): Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure http://tfl.nu/wzgm
  Replies (16) Good night (789) Bad night (2413)
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  (858): View more from California

  I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.

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  (858): I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it. http://tfl.nu/e9ge
  Replies (26) Good night (2092) Bad night (2919)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.

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  (606): I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel. http://tfl.nu/sip1
  Replies (41) Good night (4051) Bad night (1275)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up

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  (773): once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up http://tfl.nu/esy3
  Replies (5) Good night (2722) Bad night (673)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies

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  (318): What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies http://tfl.nu/mqvt
  Replies (4) Good night (860) Bad night (1940)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.

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  (407): I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up. http://tfl.nu/xd0y
  Replies (5) Good night (1808) Bad night (459)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.

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  (615): I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample. http://tfl.nu/ndxy
  Replies (4) Good night (874) Bad night (577)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse

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  (970): I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse http://tfl.nu/rdry
  Replies (22) Good night (1158) Bad night (2408)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk

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  (908): I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk http://tfl.nu/wvk1
  Replies (6) Good night (552) Bad night (878)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy

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  (615): Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy http://tfl.nu/f6ow
  Replies (5) Good night (731) Bad night (381)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough

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  (+44): He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough http://tfl.nu/6ovf
  Replies (5) Good night (518) Bad night (536)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.

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  (937): I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today. http://tfl.nu/apjg
  Replies (4) Good night (882) Bad night (386)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.

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  (504): There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here. http://tfl.nu/vhqg
  Replies (1) Good night (624) Bad night (294)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous

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  (248): Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous http://tfl.nu/u4ke
  Replies (2) Good night (654) Bad night (375)

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