Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?