mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.