Texts From Last Night

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  (706): View more from Georgia

  first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...

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  (706): first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor... http://tfl.nu/ezfa
  Replies (7) Good night (638) Bad night (3489)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind

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  (201): i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind http://tfl.nu/v27a
  Replies (7) Good night (3251) Bad night (1482)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing

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  (513): corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing http://tfl.nu/6ydb
  Replies (47) Good night (761) Bad night (10331)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.

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  (484): I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting. http://tfl.nu/ejol
  Replies (15) Good night (5869) Bad night (1443)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend

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  (720): Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend http://tfl.nu/9h3j
  Replies (5) Good night (3377) Bad night (892)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.

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  (573): I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot. http://tfl.nu/yflo
  Replies (5) Good night (3853) Bad night (957)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....

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  (502): She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage.... http://tfl.nu/ha8c
  Replies (6) Good night (2800) Bad night (1165)
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  (646): View more from New York

  How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog

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  (646): How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog http://tfl.nu/iwbb
  Replies (5) Good night (683) Bad night (2070)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.

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  (808): I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it. http://tfl.nu/dne1
  Replies (11) Good night (972) Bad night (474)
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  (424): View more from California

  Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?

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  (424): Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo? http://tfl.nu/93zn
  Replies (24) Good night (1103) Bad night (417)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.

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  (785): Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ. http://tfl.nu/krx2
  Replies (2) Good night (1230) Bad night (367)
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  (+45): View more from Denmark

  Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?

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  (+45): Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction? http://tfl.nu/7i71
  Replies (20) Good night (935) Bad night (1239)
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  (530): View more from California

  I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "

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  (530): I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. " http://tfl.nu/24zo
  Replies (5) Good night (627) Bad night (239)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.

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  (651): i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again. http://tfl.nu/awxi
  Replies (2) Good night (280) Bad night (439)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.

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  (865): to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger. http://tfl.nu/z4fx
  Replies (2) Good night (818) Bad night (227)

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