Texts From Last Night

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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer

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  (484): Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer http://tfl.nu/we5u
  Replies (10) Good night (996) Bad night (4574)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.

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  (734): Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month. http://tfl.nu/t4ti
  Replies (14) Good night (4569) Bad night (847)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore

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  (502): I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore http://tfl.nu/n25p
  Replies (37) Good night (6763) Bad night (1475)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend

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  (217): The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend http://tfl.nu/q6fw
  Replies (14) Good night (5382) Bad night (939)
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  (631): View more from New York

  "too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence

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  (631): "too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence http://tfl.nu/grgx
  Replies (14) Good night (2700) Bad night (725)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow

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  (908): almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow http://tfl.nu/cscz
  Replies (13) Good night (4649) Bad night (977)
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  (323): View more from California

  How did I end up in the pool?!

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Welcome to ASU

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  (323): How did I end up in the pool?! (480): Welcome to ASU http://tfl.nu/zi7q
  Replies (8) Good night (2558) Bad night (793)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.

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  (307): I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real. http://tfl.nu/ype2
  Replies (3) Good night (669) Bad night (1241)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....

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  (601): Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it..... http://tfl.nu/aiat
  Replies (1) Good night (533) Bad night (1021)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.

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  (801): I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow. http://tfl.nu/o553
  Replies (8) Good night (1270) Bad night (859)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious

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  (225): Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious http://tfl.nu/iev4
  Replies (0) Good night (959) Bad night (459)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment

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  (802): as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment http://tfl.nu/bym2
  Replies (6) Good night (765) Bad night (1342)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....

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  (713): It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking.... http://tfl.nu/vznz
  Replies (1) Good night (731) Bad night (324)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)

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  (616): with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;) http://tfl.nu/170o
  Replies (0) Good night (754) Bad night (294)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS

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  (812): I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS http://tfl.nu/djn3
  Replies (1) Good night (417) Bad night (173)

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