**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged