Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize