I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
