question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
