Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
