I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
