when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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