I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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