Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
