nut hugger
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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