How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Randomize
