I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
