Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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