I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
