a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
