Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
