Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
