I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Alive.
So much puke
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
