I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
