I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
