apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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